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Unique Grief


I failed a man.

I didn’t cry at the news of his passing.


It felt so weird.


There was once a day when my heart

would‘ve broken and tears would have fallen.


Today I am sadden, but there’s a disconnect.


When did I detach myself from the emotions of grief?


You see, we go through this life knowing

death to be a common thing.


Some of us experience it more

than others, but it shouldn’t be so persistent.


Year after year, it rears its head,

Casting a shadows of grief.

Taking lives in manners beyond belief.


Have I become so use to death that it no

longer bothers me?


When I see the grim reaper,

Do I greet him and continue passing?


I no longer fear and tremble.

I am no longer frightened by the thought of

living without.


I’ve recounted the days spent with friends

and loved ones, yet I no longer feel anguish

for the memories I will no longer make.


My body has learned to cope,

while life’s voice begins to quieten.


You see, I’ve known death for quite some

time. I was born into it.


Death met me at my birth bed.

It knew me before I knew myself.


Death greeted me with a smile, before I had

knowledge of it.


It welcomed me into this world, knowing

it’d already took from me.


Death is neither friend nor fo, but

chooses to greet me with a smile and

kiss on the cheek.


It exists and I let it do its job without

emotional pull or resistance.


After years of experience, I’m not sure I

have anything left.


It’s been 27 years of sickness, disasters,

accidents, murders, and suicides.


How much is a person suppose to take?


Death once ripped opened my curtains,

today, it can’t tear down my walls.


I failed a man.

I didn’t cry at the loss of him.

I couldn’t feel at the knowledge of

his passing.


I have unique grief.

God, is there grace for me?


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