Updated: Nov 24, 2020
If I could be honest, I’m tired of writing on this day.
I get exhausted when it comes to your birthday.
Father’s Day makes me cringe.
Days like today, I don’t know where to begin.
Today makes 10 years and we’ve still got forever to go.
Days like today, I can’t let you go.
It always makes me wonder if I should force myself to smile.
Go and have a good time
or sit in silence with myself for a while.
And I’m tired of playing strong then crying in the middle of the night,
because I dreamed of you and in that moment life felt alright.
Funny how the imagination can seem so real.
But I wake and remember, in reality, people kill.
10 years ago I wrote you a song.
Released it half finished to the world then tossed it to the wind.
10’s a big one, so I’ll honor you.
I’ll finish your song even if it’s the only song I ever do.
Days like today I sit and reflect.
You loved me like Jesus when others chose to neglect.
You loved me from day 1, whole heartedly.
I was yours, you were mine, so beautifully.
I can picture you to this day, my last game in the 8th grade.
You sat on the steps, Watching.
Some days that imagine brings me comfort.
It gives me rest.
Days when I’m nervous or feel less adequate,
I picture you that day, proud that I was giving my best.
Still not sure how I’m going to walk with you down the aisle.
But I know when I tell my future kids of you, I’ll do it with a smile.
Our time ran out far too soon,
but God knew to give me a lifetime of memories to store until I’m in Heaven too.
I’m not sure if this is the last time I’ll write, whether it be poem or song.
But please know that some days, these 10 years still feel like the first 10 minutes.
You are forever missed.
The town hasn’t been the same.
Without you, our whole lives changed.
I don’t think I can ever say thank you enough for loving me like you did.
Sports, Drawing Box Cars and 2k tourneys.
Life will never be that simple again.
I don’t know how to end this poem
and that’s our relationship story.
Cause even though you’re gone,
I still can’t fully say Goodbye.